Shattered Memories
by silverraven o-o
Summary: Naruto loses control over Kyuubi during his training with Jiraiya. Afterwards he doesn't remember a thing...How will he deal when he finds out what he has done? Sometimes strength at all costs isn't an option if you truly want to protect what's precious.
1. Chapter 1

This is supposed to become a short story about Naruto dealing with the fact of what happens when he loses control over the Kyuubi. although the beginning is mainly following the flow of the anime, not all details are accurate. I hope you like it. Comments and criticism are very welcome:)

( I do not own Naruto)

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**- Prologue-**

Nature seemed to stand still in this desert of rocks and dust. The cracks running through the dry ground formed a maze of scars. A strange humming sound filled the air as a flare of red shot towards the sky.

Naruto was panting heavily, covered in the demon's cloak, struggling to remain in control. Three burning chakra tails flashed around him, radiating with dark intent to kill. His claw like fingers dug deep into the earth, red eyes glared beneath bright yellow hair. He could feel the Kyuubi raging inside of him, greedy from the power he had been granted. The power to transform him into a monster - a demon. A veil of red threatened to blurr his vision. The urge to kill lingered in the back of his mind. It took all the willpower he had to push it back – to keep it locked away by his own sanity. _I am Uzumaki Naruto, the future Hokage of the Hidden Village of the Leaf. I want to protect my precious people...i will never hurt them. _Over and over again he repeated those thoughts, an invisible barrier between himself and the beast hovering at the verge of his mind, waiting for the moment to tear down his prey.

The sannin could only stare at the sight unfolding a few foot before him. With tensed body and tightly clenched fists Jiraiya looked at the Kyuubi taking shape. Memories flashed up briefly. Pictures of destruction, death and despair. A battlefield covered in slashed bodies. The smell of blood hovering in the air – and a raw, murderous intent to kill that surpassed it all. The resemblance was frightening. His nails dug into his palms. The figure in front of him was still Naruto – he could tell by the eyes. Three tails. How long could he stay in control. Even in this state, the power was overwhelming.

Earth began to crumble around the glowing red figure, as the buzzing sound intensified and a wave of brute power hit the surroundings. By the time the dust clouds dissipated, a forth chakra tail had formed.

The pain was now close to unbearable. Chakra swirled violently around him surrounding him in a storm of burning heat. He threw his head back and howled as his skin burst open. His blood mingled with the red Chakra. The urge to kill became overpowerfull. He felt the beast lurking nearby, circling his self control – smirking cruelly at his trapped prey. Slowly a red veil closed over his eyes. A terrible scream echoed over the landscape as Naruto tried to fight back one last time...then everything went black.

The scene would be etched in his memory forever. Time seemed frozen as Jiraya felt his eyes widen in horror. The power radiating from the figure before him bore no longer the faintest trace of humanity. The red aura had intensified again with the forming of a fourth tail. He gasped as Naruto's blood mingled with the Kyuubi, dark droplets hovering in the air. Whole patches of skin were peeled from his body. Then he noticed it. -His eyes!- The sannin could litteraly see the humanity fading from them. What replaced them reminded him of the worst moments in his life.

Murdrous rage spread over the wasteland, scanning the surroundings, craving for prey. Bloodthirsty eyes focussed on the sannin as a vicious smile distorted the beast´s figures.

A ridiculously small paper clutched tightly in his hand, Jiraiya prepared himself to fight. He only needed to apply the charm once, nothing more than a split of a second. He could do it. Simultaneously the two fighters leapt into the air. It took all his skills to dodge the whirling tails of chakra, lashing out for him at a frightening speed. He would not be able to keep up for long, this had to end soon. Sucessfully evading a pair of razor sharp claws, Jiraiya launched forward at top speed, his outstreched hand aiming at his student's hitai-ate. Too late did he notice the chakra tail approaching. Burning pain shot through his chest as he was propelled backwards, crushing into a rock.

A small piece of paper fluttered through the air, settling peacefully into the dust.

The first thing that made it into his mind was the stinging pain all over his body. Clenching his teeth he forced his eyes open. The sky was painted in an impeccable blue. What happened? He felt totally drained. Shifting his head slightly he could make out the crumbled remains of a rock. His eyes widened in shock. "Ero-senin" A white haired figured rested motionlessly amongst the debris. Naruto dragged himself into a sitting postion and tried to convince his shaky legs to carry his weight. After what seemed to have taken an eternity, he stumbled towards his teacher.

Jiraiya clutched his chest, warm blood seeping through his clothes and dripping from his hand. Every breath hurt. His vision still blurry, he tried to focus on the figure kneeling in front of him. Concerned blue eyes rested on his face. He tried a weak smile as the relief washed over him. He made it! "Ero-senin! What happened ?" He gaped at his student in disbelief "Naruto? Don´t you remember anything?"


	2. Chapter 2

Here is chapter two, I hope someone likes it:)

I have made a few changes considering the arrangement of the story. The first chapter has now become the prologue..as i plan to focus on how Naruto deels with the revelation of what happens when the Kyuubi takes over. and again i would really appreciate any comments or criticism also concerning my english..i hope there aren´t too many mistakes. Well...enjoy reading...

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**- Bitter Awakening -**

Sunlight fell through the forest, painting shivering patches of light on the ground. A fresh breeze carressed the summer leaves. Whispers of wind mixed with the carefree chilping of birds. Naruto wasn´t aware of his peacefull surroundings. He stood frozen on the spot, gazing blankly at the air in front of him. The only thing that possessed reality at this moment was the scene that flashed up inside his mind. Bright red coloured blood seemed to mock his naivness. With vivid accuracy the image surfaced from the dark shadows of his memories. He wished it hadn´t. Jiraiya leaning against a rock, his breath escaping in short rattles. His hand clutching the deep slashed cross over his chest, barely hindering the flow of blood. His tone seemed slightly accusing: „ Naruto? Don´t you remember anything?"

Realization swept over him like a wave of icy water. His heart clenched. Yamato´s words still rung in his head „ The one that injured Sakura was you, Naruto!"

He had ...hurt her ...and Jirayia? He had injured the people who meant everything to him; attacked those he had sworn to protect. The people that had aknwoledged him – trusted him. They...they must hate him.

„Listen Naruto" The Jounin´s voice brought him back to reality. The face in front of him was stoic, his tone no less than professional. Yamato must despise him; a ninja who hurt his own teammates...in front of the ennemy... „ If you really want to bring back Sasuke, If you truly want to protect Sakura, then do so with your own power! Otherwise you´ll only end up hurting yourself - and the people close to you." Naruto´s gaze shifted to the sunflooded clearing ahead of him , towards the slender figure crouched against a tree. His throat felt dry. Even though she tried to hide it, he noticed as Sakura flinched in pain as the green healing chakra surrounded her shoulder. Three half healed gashes were clearly visible. What had he become?

Another memory flared up. Sakura, Kakashi and himself were speeding through the trees, accompanied by an old woman dressed in a single black robe.

„Bijuu are essentially enormous masses of chakra. During the great Ninja Wars, each nations hidden village tried to obtain them, hoping to turn them into weapons. But their powers are far beyond human understanding. They can´t be controlled."

He had been foolish – thinking that he could tame the Kyuubi, honestly believing that a mere human was abled to use the Nine-tails according to his own will without any consequences. All he had ever done was relying on a power that did not belong him and even worse - he had relied on a power he knew to be evil to the core. What was he other than a demon?

„ The source of your strenght is not the Kyuubi´s chakra. It is your own chakra and it´s ability to withstand the kyuubi´s horrible powers." Naruto was grateful for these words although deep down he could feel the truth. He had been relying on the demon because he knew that on his own – he was weak.

„ Well, let´s get going Naruto, we don´t have time to waste, have we?" Yamato was pacing towards the clearing waving lazily for him to follow. Regaining his composure, the blond boy answered in his usual high pitched „hai" and sped of towards his teammate. A few feet in front of her however, he came to a sudden halt. His eyes stayed locked on his feet. „ Naruto, what´s wrong?" The youg kunoichi gave him a concerned look. „ S...Sakura-chan" he mumbled, forcing himself to look in the bright green orbs of his ..victim? „ Gomen Sakura-chan...I´m so sorry...I...I really didn´t want to hurt you...I.." He stopped, not finding the right words to apologize for the unforgivable. „ It´s ok Naruto" came the gentle reply „ it really doesn´t hurt that much anymore"

Even though dreading the outcome, Naruto´s eyes remained fixed upon Sakura´s, looking for the well known flash of hate and disgust he saw so often in the eyes of the villagers; astonished to find only mild concern and sadness. He sighed almost inaudibly in relief. She didn´t hate him. „ Thank you Sakura-chan. I will definitely protect you from now on" She gave him a small grin and he shivered at the thought of what he had risked to lose. He could have killed her! That was when he realized he would never forgive himself .


	3. Chapter 3

Third Chapter, a little weird one:)

I hope you like it. More comments at the end of the story, you need to read it first

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**- The Demon -**

_Konoha stood in flames and Naruto fought for his life. His vision was blurry but he somehow got the feeling it wasn´t only from the smoke that stung in his eyes. He perceived the faint outlines of what seemed to have been the village´s outside walls. Around him shadowy figures were moving – he could not make out any individuals though. They rather appeared to be acting in a menacing choreography designed for the sole purpose of killing him. He caught a movement to his right – one of the figures leapt at him, weapons brandished. An elegant turn of his body and the corpse crushed to the ground - throat cut. The next group launched at Naruto but in a quick succession of movements, they met the fate of their companion. He heard the distant clashing of steel, felt sweat and blood mingle with muffled screams of pain. Never ending waves of attackers surfaced on the battlefield. Entangled in a morbid dance of death the fighters swirled around the clearing. Everything felt numb and strangely disconnected from reality - as if none of this really concerned him. The smell of blood was the only thing that Naruto´s mind processed clearly. It hovered in the air and stenched the ground – intensified with each body that met his hands. Every bit of his senses was over flooded with the sour, iron scent. He was angry. The reason for it lay somewhere deep in his past but he could feel the anger boiling up inside, translating into deadly movements. His enemies hit the ground like falling leaves. _

_Incoherent sounds clashed onto his ears, momentarily breaking his trance. He swirled around to face the source of his annoyance. A single figure was shouting something- yelling at him at the top of its voice. He caught the desperation but not the meaning of the words. Anger clouded his mind and the meaningless sounds only added further to his irritation. He prepared to bring down the next deadly strike. Why didn´t the figure move? Just before the blow connected a shadow leapt towards his still frozen victim, and spread out his arms protectively. The succession of movements could barely be followed by human eyes. Naruto felt tissue and skin tear open as his attack hit at full force._

_Someone screamed. You did not need any understanding of words to grasp the horror that resonated through the voice. Beneath him a lone person crouched on the ground, cuddling a motionless body. Without a second thought he launched forward and killed her._

_At the meeting of blood with skin, something shattered. He felt like a veil was lifted as his feelings came rushing back to him. He took in a sharp breath as a multitude of impressions clashed onto him. The smell of blood suddenly linked with the meaning of death. The screaming and pleading voices combined with an understanding of pain and despair. Motionless figures changed into empty shells of human beings. Something felt terribly wrong!_

_A coughing sound made him look down. Locked onto his were a pair of green eyes radiating with pain and unreadable emotions. Another rattling sound and their gaze broke, leaving two emerald orbs to stare blankly into space. Slowly Naruto began to take in the scene that unfolded before him. The eyes were embedded in a female face, covered in dirt and scratches. Strands of pink hair were falling down into a pool of dark blood beneath the girl. His hand was buried deep inside her chest. Naruto choked and stumbled backwards, tearing his hand out in shock. The lifeless body hit the ground with a small thud. „S...Sakura" He looked down at his red glistening palm and felt his stomach heave. Backing of in horror, his foot hit resistance and he hit to the ground. _

_His eyes widened in horror. Half covered beneath him lay the body of a silver haired Jounin. His chest was ripped open, partially exposing the bones of his ribcage. His lifeless features were distorted in a mask of agony. „K...ka..." Terrified Naruto crawled backwards. At the sight of his legs sliding down his teachers chest he bent over and threw up, choking and heaving desperately till he only felt the bitter stench of bile. He could not stop staring at his hands, drenched in blood, making it impossible to deny the truth. Shaking he pulled himself up, freezing instantly. Horrified he gazed at the battlefield. Corpses covered the ground, their bodies slashed open with gruesome ferocity. Naruto´s heart skipped as he recognized more of them: Jiraiya, Iruka, Sasuke, the rookies,Tsunade..._

_There in front of him lay his life, shattered into a thousand pieces. He covered his face with two bloodstained hands and screamed._

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Ah, this chapter was somewhat hard to write. I like the idea but I didn´t want everyone at the first line that Naruto had transformed into the Kyuubi. So i couldn´t really describe the fighting scenes because at the mention of claws or chakra tails it would have become very obvious. Andunfortunately the Kyuubi does not use a kunai to fight:) And then he couldn´t see very well so ...l

Please review and tell me if you like it or what you don´t. Isn´t this story becoming kind of too incoherent? I fell like the only thing that keeps it together is the theme...but I´m not really satisfied with i...i can´t put my finger on it but I really am not satisfied with this...: If you have any tips, I would be thankful to hear them.

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	4. Chapter 4

I hope his chapter helps to set everything back in context. This and the previous chapter take place after the second confrontation with Sasuke. You would have found anyway but just to make it clear from the beginning. I realized that i terribly lack vocabulary..praise to all the online dictionaries:) I hope you like it anyway...Any kind of reviews would make me awfuly happy:)

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**- Dream -**

Sai found himself sitting upright in his sleeping bag, shivering due to an unpleasant cold breeze against his skin. It was still dark outside - probably close to morning since the campfire had almost burned down. _Why was he awake?_ Weary he brought his hands to his eyes in an attempt to rub away the sleepiness. The sound was so omnipresent that his mind only now realised it as something unnatural. A desperate cry, broken by hoarse sobs, containing an amount of agony that made him leap to his feet at once. _He knew that voice._ Seconds later Sai crouched over the twitching body of his blond teammate, along with Sakura and Yamato „Naruto ?" _What did hurt him like this? _Worried he checked Naruto´s body for any signs of injury but neither blood nor bruises indicated any physical harm. _The chakra of the Kyuubi again?_ Strong hands grabbed the boys shoulders and shook him. „Naruto, wake up!" Watery blue orbs flashed open and glared at the faces hovering above him. Panick flickered over his face. „NO! I...I didn´t mean...I never" Naruto frantically tried to back away but the grip on his shoulder tightened. „ Calm down...it´s ok! It was a nightmare...a dream" Yamato´s voice sounded as if trying to approach a scared animal or soothe a very frightened child. Naruto´s eyes focussed as he fully woke, his erratic breathing slowing to a steady pace. Confused he looked around at his teamates „ You were screaminng and crying in your sleep so we thought it best to wake you up – since you already made sure that we did" The jounin grinned slightly before going on" I guess that was a pretty nasty nightmare?" The change in the boy was immediate. He wiped away his tears in a swift motion an rubbed his head. A sheepish grin covered his slightly tilted face. „ Ah...well...kind of silly really...I don´t even remember it very clearly. Sorry if I had you worried" Yamato frowned slightly. The faint traces of some deep terror were still visible behind the cheery mask. „Well then...I guess as a punishement for waking you´re teammates you will take over the rest of my watch" „Hai Yamato-sensei" was the unusual subdued answer „ Sorry for disturbing your sleep „

The jounin only nodded and after a last scrutinizing gaze at his student turned around and headed for his sleeping back. Arms crossed behind his head he lay there, gazing at the stars. Naruto wouldn´t be able to sleep again anyway so he might as well take over his watch._ What could have shaken up the blonde so badly...he had never seen him this terrified before? But then again nightmares could be kind of intense...perhaps he had seen a ghost. _Chukling slightly he closed his eyes and felt himself drifting to sleep.

Sakura was still on her knees besides Naruto. She felt a bit shaky and was unsure of what to do. His screams had been so heartwrenching_. _Yamato had already been there as she arrived. The sight of her friend cringing under an unknown pain had made her feel so helpless. He had always been the loud, happy blond whirlwind, the one who would give her strenght, the one to make her believe in happy endings. It was just so wrong for him be in despair. But things had changed after their last encounter with Sasuke. For the first time since she could remember, she had been the one to refrain from crying. At that moment besides all her disappointment, anger and sorrow she had felt a small amount of pride. For the first time she was aware that she too, had gotten stronger, even if only a little. Looking back now, it was also the first time Naruto was close to giving up. She hadn´t noticed then, had simply been gratefull that it was her turn to share some strenght. But seeing him sobbing in his sleep had made her realize how much she needed him to remain the Naruto she used to know.

„Are you all right?" Of course he was not. He couldn´t fool her with this grinning mask. He couldn´t fool anyone who had seen his real smile. It hurt that he tried anyway. „ I´ll be fine, Sakura-chan." _This smile again_ „ It was just a dream...I don´t even remember it", he shrugged. „ If you want to talk about-" „ Nah, Sakura-chan, how can I talk about a dream if I don´t remember! You really should go back to bed, you probably left your brain there" „ Baka, Naruto" Sakura furiously waved her fist in front of his face „ You´d better be grateful that my brain is awake because right now it is the only thing telling me that I´m actually not supposed to kill teammates" she grunted. He raised his arms playfully to protect his face and chuckled. Sakura sighed. _Guess he really doesn´t want to talk about it. _She lowered her fist. „ Alright then, I´ll leave you to your guard-duty. Goodnight Sai" „ Goodnight, Sakura-chan" echoed two voices in unison. She gave a short wave and disappeared beneath her covers moments later.

Naruto sat down against a tree close to their camp and let out a deep breath. Sai quietly sat besides him. „ Does it hurt?" The blonde looked at him perplexed „ What?" „Does it hurt? Having a nightmare?" „ You never had a nightmare ?" „ Not that I remember. What is it like?" Naruto studied the pale figure besides him. The flawless features of his face, the almost alabaster complexion of his skin, the strange depht of his dark eyes that swallowed up every detail of his surrounding without ever giving back an emotion in turn. _Was it easier that way? Was it better to give up one´s emotions? Did it hurt less? _Leaning his head against the coarse bark of the old tree Naruto gazed of into the distance. „ It doesn´t hurt you physically...it makes you see things that you don´t want to. Sometimes it shows you what you are most afraid of." Naruto closed his eyes and a slight shiver ran through his body „I guess these are the worst kind of nightmares, because they feel so real. And you can´t escape, you can´t make it stop... It hurts... inside. It leaves you scared" „ Are you scared?" The leaves whispered soothingly in the nigth´s breeze. A shade of gray at the horizont indicated the approaching dawn while above them the stars still stood bright against the velvet sky. Naruto faced him again „ You should probably get some sleep too, Sai" „ Hai" Naruto watched him rise gracefully and walk away, until his figure merged with the night.


	5. Chapter 5

**- Hero -**

Morning eventually arrived with gleaming sunlight flowing over the small campsite and birdsong filling the air. Naruto had barely shifted position during his watch. Motionless he had watched as dawn crept over the landscape, had seen the sky turn from gray to a shade of pink as his surrounding came to life. The calm, unquestioning flow of nature always helped to appease his swirling emotions. Right now though, the early ray of sun lingering on his face tingled awfully in his nose. _Damn it! - _ATCHOU - S_o much for the peace of the moment. _Sighing he stood, stretching his arms and legs to get the blood flow going. He wasn't surprised to find Sai already awake, bent over his sketchbook. "Morning" The greeting was loud enough to wake up whoever should still be sleeping. To his right Sakura stirred under the covers and yawned. "Ohayo Sakura-chan", he mused "found your brain yet?" She was up in an instant, piercing a certain blond genin with deadly looks. "Nar – ru – to !" _Just why did he always want to make her angry?_

A few moments – and punches – later, the group leapt in the trees, heading towards Konoha. "We're closer than I thought" Yamato informed them "If we keep going at the same pace as yesterday, I think we can be there in the early afternoon." Sakura´s mood brightened. Fresh closes and a good shower sounded really inviting. Besides she would be able to speak to her mentor. She wanted to ask Tsunade-sishou about demonic-chakra. By now, her abilities using conventional healing techniques were pretty good ...but the injury she had received from Naruto startled her. _Why did the wound heal so slowly? The demon´s chakra acted similar to poison...except that she could not grasp it, and therefore not extract it. It´s not like the wound was fatal – nor was the amount of aggressive chakra flowing through her system._ She just did not understand what exactly it was that made this chakra so special and destructive. _Was it the same for the other Biju? Did every human react the same way? And what about the Jinchiruuki? Did it hurt them too? _She didn't like the direction her thoughts were heading to answer the last question. Naruto losing control to the Kyuubi was a memory still all to vivid in her mind. Apart from the murderous power directed at his surroundings, she had seen what it did to it´s host. The sight of Naruto´s body after Yamato performed the sealing technique..._.as if he was peeled alive. _A shiver ran through her body as she tried to block the image from her mind. It hurt him when the Kyuubi took over but- she really didn't want to consider that possibility- did it hurt him all the time? The shoulder wound still throbbed slightly, although it didn't hinder her movements anymore. If it took her body that long to neutralize the minimal amount of demonic chakra...just how could Naruto move without pain?

Sakura's thoughts came to an abrupt end as she nearly clashed into her Sensei. He had stopped on a branch, raising his right hand in alert. More or less elegantly, Sakura landed beside him, followed by Naruto and Sai. "What is it, Yamato-sensei?" Even the blonde was thoughtful enough to keep his voice down. "There´s someone here, I can feel foreign chakra signatures. Probably 8 or 9 people. They are all around us!" His voice sounded slightly alarmed. "Who the heck could - " Before Naruto had time to finish his sentence, the shadows of the forest came to life. Dark figures stepped out of their hiding places in the surrounding trees. They wore plain trousers and long-sleeved shirts, all of them wide enough to prevent hindering their movements in combat. The eyes were the only visible parts of their faces, the rest being covered by masks held in the same green-brownish color as their clothes. One of them stepped forward and raised his voice: "Surrender yourselves and you shall not be harmed" Yamato sighed in relief. These were by no means dangerous opponents; decent fighters perhaps but nothing more. Once revealed, their stands and position in the trees had betrayed them. "I doubt you know who you´re up against", he replied coldly "we are Konoha Ninjas, you're no match for us!" "Playing it cool, are we", their speaker chuckled, "may I remind that you´re slightly outnumbered." He nodded towards his companions "Show them!". At the commando, ten figures lept simultaneously at the four ninja. _He had to admit they worked well together. _"Try not to kill them, just knock them out" Yamato ordered "this shouldn't be any serious trouble. Don't let your guard down nonetheless !" Tree genin nodded in agreement. "I'm so gonna kick their asses !" Naruto shouted as they jumped to meet their opponents.

Sakura punched the first man in the stomach before he even noticed he actually missed his target.She smirked. _One down._ _This would be great to calm her temper._ She had held back with Naruto this morning after all. The next opponent was more careful not to underestimate her. While she managed to block his kunai, he dodged too fast for her fist to connect.

Sai's adversaries were kept busy by ferocious ink-lions. He always felt a slight pang of pride at the first reactions to his battle stile. As far as he knew, it was quite an unique technique. Mostly taken by surprise, the first body hit the ground. Above him lingered one of the creatures, ready to strike again if his prey dared to move as much as a finger.

Shadow clones whirled around Naruto´s opponents, kicking and blocking simultaneously, completely overwhelming the enemy. For each clone they took out, ten more seemed to appear. _At least the training with Jiraiya had gotten him enough time to polish his Kage-Bunshin formations._ While the opponent was held down by the sheer number of clones clinging to his body, Naruto knocked him out with a clean strike to the temple. _Next one!_

It was far too late the aggressors realized they had severely underestimated their chosen victims. Yamato's last opponent lay motionless on the ground, send to unconsciousness by a blow to his neck. The Jounin glanced around at his team. They seemed to fair well. Sakura was about to finish her second opponent and Sai's ink creatures hovered above two unconscious bodies. Naruto was still fighting while two shadow clones each watched over one motionless figure.Yamato had taken out two himself that only left one to go.He scanned the area. _Damn it. Where is the last of them?_ The bushes on the ground would offer the most protection from being spotted. At that instant he caught a flicker in the shadows. _Found you! _But the kunai that came flying wasn't meant for him but aiming at - "Sakura, behind you!" The warning caught her ear in the moment she dealt the finishing blow to her attacker. Spinning round she immediately caught the weapon flying towards her. _Too slow. _A villain smile spread across her face._ She_ _would be able to avoid easily. That jerk would get the beating of his life, attacking from behind like a coward. _The moment she readied herself to jump out of reach a flash of orange appeared in her sight. _What the hell? _Yamato raised his brows in disbelief. _That idiot, what was he thinking. _His kunai and Sai's foot hit the last remaining enemy almost simultaneously, sending him crushing into the next tree.

"Naruto!?" Sakura ran towards her teammate. The blonde stood in front of her, arms spread wide. "Are you hurt, Sakura-chan?" He lowered his hands and let out a small groan before he turned around to face her. The kunai was embedded deep in his shoulder. She fought back the urge to slap him right in his grinning face. "Baka, what were you thinking?" she yelled at the top of her voice "You could have died!" "I couldn't let you get injured" he replied quietly. "Well I wouldn't, Naruto ! That weapon was miles away. Even an academy student would be able to dodge it. And you know that" Fury and incomprehension mixed in her green eyes. His only reaction was to grab his shoulder and lower his head. "Na -ru-to", Sakura growled; then sighed, "Let me have a look, sit down!" As Sai and Yamato arrived she had already removed the dagger and green healing chakra covered Naruto's wound. Sai stared at him with complete lack of understanding, shaking his head in confusion. _What was the point in letting yourself get injured for nothing?_ Yamato pierced his student with looks of barely contained anger. It was all he could do to wait until he was bandaged up. "Sakura, Sai, you two go and take care of our attackers. Tie them up and make sure they can't escape. We will send a retrieval team once we reach Konoha. Meanwhile -", his voice became dangerously low, "I need to have a word with your teammate!" They nodded and turned without a word.

"Can you explain to me what you think you were doing just now?" Naruto didn't even look up. "Sakura-chan was in danger!" "No, she was not Naruto, and you know that too. Sakura heard my warning and would have been more than able to dodge in time. What you did was simply stupid, and completely useless!" At the last word the boy flinched visibly. Slowly he raised his head and stared at Jounin in front of him, blue eyes completely blank "It is not useless to save you're friends", he replied flatly. "No, Naruto, saving someone is never useless. But throwing your life away is." Yamato made no effort to contain his anger anymore. "What you did was utterly irresponsible. You recklessly exposed yourself to danger and thereby put your comrades at risk. I will not allow you to play the foolish hero once more. You are member of a team, and as such you have responsibilities. By getting yourself injured more than necessary, you weaken the whole team! As your leader I will not tolerate such selfish behaviour, do you understand ?" For a moment neither of them said a word. Then Naruto dropped his gaze again "Hai, Yamato-sensei" The Jounin froze. Naruto's voice sounded distant, cold - almost professional; no hint of the strong emotions that usually radiated from Konohas number one prankster ninja. Something was seriously wrong but he knew it would be useless to ask any further questions for the moment. So he quickly assembled the team and in awkward silence they set of towards Konoha once more.

For the rest of their home way Yamato was deep in thought, replaying the scene in his head countless times. Sakura turning around, fully prepared to evade the danger. His sight of relief followed by the shock of what happened next. Naruto had to realize that Sakura would be able to dodge. Yet he deliberately jumped into the trajectory. _Why didn't he send one of his shadow clones? Why didn't he grab Sakura and push her out of harms way? There were so much other possibilities to prevent that kunai from reaching his target. Why did he intercept it with his own body?_ What Yamato didn't want to admit to himself was the fact that he recognized this comportment. He had seen it on the battlefield all too often. It was the behaviour of shinobi that no longer cared what happened to them; shinobi whose soul had been shredded by to much pain. They would take on the most risky mission, would accomplish the most dangerous tasks, in one single hope: finally getting killed!

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Wow...my first attempt at a battle description. I still think it's too descriptive...even if it isn't really a big battle and the opponents pose no threat. Somehow I can't get the action across...

Anyway I hope you still enjoy the story and I hope it doesn't get boring:) Thanks to all the people that took the time to read the story so far.


	6. Chapter 6

Wow...that was a hard chapter. I know it is short and probably not the most interesting in this story but this discussion is crucial for what's happening in the future. So I hope you stick with it and perhaps even like it. I realized just now how hard it can be to write a simple conversation, I so love descriptions after this chap :)

I would like to thank _"**randomly**"_ at this place for recommending my fic and supporting me with all the feedback and reviews. You really helped me a lot.

Enjoy and review please!

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**- Control -**

_(Takes place in Kakashi's hospital room in Konoha, where he is still resting from his over-use of the Sharingan. Yamato is reporting the previous mission of Team seven)_

"You what?"

Kakashi's feeble attempt to push himself from the pillows was all that betrayed his surprise. Jiraiya leaned against the window frame of a clean hospital room while Yamato stood rather rigid at the end of the bed.

"Yes, Kakashi, we encountered Sasuke"

"I thought your mission was to approach the Akatsuki spy?"

"That is true. But Orochimaru intervened and the situation demanded quick reactions. We managed to track him and locate Sasuke's whereabouts. After a successful infiltration of their hideout we were able to find him. It came to a fight."

One eye looked inquisitively at the reporting Jounin:"Hhm?"

Yamato shook his head slightly."All of them escaped. Our team was still weakened due to their previous attack. From what I can tell, Sasuke has become a lot stronger"

Kakashi closed his eyes. His shoulders slackened slightly,"Sou ka"

"Don't let it get to you" Jiraiya said gently "It's most probably due to forbidden techniques he uses"

Thick silence crept over the room as each of it's occupants followed their own trail of thoughts. The longer Sasuke remained under Orochimaru's tutelage, the greater a threat he became. Sai's secret mission spoke for itself. Before long, the assassination of Uchiha Sasuke wouldn't be plotted in the dark anymore but declared as an official mission. It was inevitable. And once Orochimaru would take over his new body, there probably was no alternative left. The chances of reuniting Team 7 were fading with each day.

After a while, Kakashi smirked lazily behind his mask "My, my; I guess this means that Naruto will be even more eager to train!"

At these words Yamato shifted his position uneasily: "Well -ehm-",he cleared his throat, "That is something else I wanted to talk about" Sighing deeply he raised his eyes to meet the gaze of the white haired Sannin.

"Exactly how much does the weakened seal affect Naruto?"

Jiraiya's head jerked instantly up and his composed expression became fully alert:

"You mean he did -"

"Yes, he transformed. During the fight against Orochimaru!"

"How many tails?"

"Four, eventually!"

A sharp intake of breath came from the Sannin.

"In that state he was able to fight almost on equal with Orochimaru who unfortunately managed to escape unharmed with his subordinate Kabuto. By the time I succeeded in suppressing the demon, the aggressive chakra had severely injured Naruto" Yamato paused, not sure how to continue.

"Is he alright?" Kakashi's voice had a mildly concerned note to it.

"Sakura healed him on the spot, so physically he is completely fine. Mentally however – I'm not so sure!"

This time worry was obvious on the two faces turned towards Yamato. Jiraiya's hand tightened visibly around the window frame.

"What exactly are you implying by this?"

Yamato was now clearly uncomfortable and struggled to regain his professional composure before continuing.

"I am truly sorry I didn't prevent this from happening. There was an incident. Naruto - the Kyuubi – well, he attacked Sakura"

Kakashi covered his face with his hand before rubbing through his hair. If anything could bring down Naruto it was the idea of hurting his treasured people. Besides a rather unstable temper this was clearly his weak point. And who could blame him?

"Wait, wait, wait" Jiraiya blurted suddenly looking deeply confused. "He remembered? I mean up to now he couldn't recall anything once the Kyuubi took over!"

"He didn't remember!" Yamato stated matter of factly "I told him!"

Both auditors fell momentarily silent, too stunned by the revelation. It was the younger one who first replaced his blank features by an expression; eyes tightening dangerously.

"Why?" Kakashi's voice was laced with anger "How could you?"

Yamato straightened his shoulders and spoke with the full authority of a Jounin and elite ANBU member

"With all due respect Kakashi, I thought it best if he knew the truth. Naruto has to face the risk that comes with using the Kyuubi's chakra. Especially with the weakened state of his seal and the strong reaction that the chakra presents to his emotions. It has become much too dangerous to draw upon the demon's power any longer."

Kakashi stared at him in disbelief ."Naruto would never - he is the only one who can control the nine-tails"

But Jiraiya cut him off, taking sides with Yamato. "I'm sorry Kakashi, but it is evident that he doesn't - anymore. As hard as it may sound we have to face the fact that he is gradually loosing control. If we don't find a way strengthen the seal...I'm afraid I don't know what will happen"

The last words hovered in the air, bearing an intangible foreboding of doom. The silver haired Jounin still lay there in disbelief as the realization began to sink in. Now that his mind had been forced to acknowledge the reality of what was happening, the signals began to sum up in his head. Jiraiya's warning after Naruto's return from training. The nearly forgotten fear that had risen inside of him during his first encounter with the demon's cloak. The fact that Yamato's abilities had been judged the most beneficial for a substitute captain of Team 7. Pieces fell in place to complete an utterly frightening picture. The Yondaime dying all over again, sacrificing his live to protect the inhabitants of Konoha – and failing?


End file.
